Closure

This weekend was amazing. I spent a little time in a place where I felt at home. I was literally a few thousand miles away from my problems and I had a better time than I have in a really really long time. Its just weird how a change of scenery can give you such a different perspective on things. I was so stressed out and I managed to block all that out, and have fun. I am so proud of my friend Tim, who got married this weekend. I am ready to find that. I am ready to find someone who I can start over with, and be happy with from day 1. I want to be in love again. I said a few days ago that I wanted to fight, and i did. But the more I fight, the more i feel like this isn't something worth fighting for. The harder I fight, the worse I feel. And I know that's not how this is supposed to be. I regret how mature I was during the bad times, but I know that whoever steals my heart next will get one that has learned by trying. One that is tried and true. One that is "selfless" and one that will love no matter what. I know I wasn't appreciated and I don't deserve that. The one girl who God has waiting for me, won't take that for granted, I won't let her. She will fight for my heart, while I fight for hers. Her family will love me, and they will really want the opportunity to see who I really am. I will prove myself, and try my hardest to make my next one, the last one. It's hard to walk away with things wide open, but I know that there's some amazing girl out there, who is dying to be found. And that is reason enough for me to go looking. I am committing to that.