Enough of this hippy depressing crap i tend to write! I think i figured it out. Well not really. I mean i dont know what I'm gonna do yet. But I had an epiphany...I always look for answers. Im always looking for a reason of why things are happening. It is a good thing at times, and then again it makes me miserable at other times. There are 3 factors when looking at a problem. There is the mind (finding a logical explanation), heart (dealing with the emotional details first) and then there is being completely mindless/heartless and seeking somebody else for how to deal with things. There are a number of different things that you can do when seeking advice, you can ask somebody who has a completely biased opinion (and usually they have never dealt with things before because if they had they would no that there isnt any concrete way that works in every situation), you can ask someone who has dealt with this before and has been successful, or for "spiritual people" you can find "spiritual guidance". I am more of a logical person. I look for reasons. Im the guy who assumes a lot of stuff. I do ask advice however. My own personal favorite is someone who has been there before, and knows how it feels. My problem, is that if it doesnt add up to my idea or what im thinking, i dismiss it until i find something that makes complete sense. But...if ive never dealt with the problem before, than how in the world can i make sense of the situation? So i am backtracking to everyone that has spoken to me trying to remember what they said.

The reason why i want answers is because i want the fastest way to deal with things. And because i wait to deal with the emotional aspect, i start to detach from my emotions. So in the end...my emotions start hanging out where they are, while the rest of me moves on. Which explains why everything seems to be missing something. Im missing ME! haha...what a concept. So how i came to this conclusion...i have no idea. I think it has something to do with Albert Einstein. But I cant be so sure...so here is my new philosophy: I would rather be an optimist and a fool, then a pessimist and be right. You can't figure out whats right unless you make mistakes. And you cant be truly happy without feeling completely hurt. You cant trust unless you know what it means to trust someone. You will never know what you have unless you fight with everything in you to keep it.

You have to know who you are to be who you are going to be. I gotta figure that out!