Reflections.

There's something all too familiar about seasons. Apparently scent is the strongest sense tied to memory, but every sense has it's amazing moments that catch you off guard, either in a really good way, or in a way that shakes you up a little. You have a deja-vu moment where you swear you are looking at a photo of something that has most striking resemblance of another time and place. You hear a song that takes you back to an important moment or hear a voice that sounds like someone you miss and all the sudden you are back. Or just physical feelings. Like wind cutting through you, all the while taking you to a place where you were you remember in all too much detail you doing something, with someone, somewhere with that same cold feeling of either excitement or pain. It's funny how your mind can take you back in an instant, faster than a switch turns on a light or a snuffed out candle can darken an entire room. You weren't thinking about anything close to this, and all the sudden you are reliving one of the more joyous or most gut wrenching moments that brought you where you are and made you who you are today.

The most amazing thing is when your mind can instantly prompt these feelings, and you can instantly tell that you have, in fact, overcome these memories. It's sad, that a memory can be replaced by another, but if a memory becomes replaceable you know that you are coming full circle and are no longer controlled by your minds impulses of that moment. Feelings and memories can become separate of each other. It's actually a neat moment when you can embrace people from your past that may have hurt you, or incidents that have altered your life in a dramatic way. I used to think that it was productive to compare current feelings and emotions to old ones. But, once you see that you have grown and matured, it no longer becomes necessary. I don't need to prove to myself that the way I feel today is different than the way I felt last year at this very moment, or the year before that. What matters is how I feel now. The only time this ever has negative effects is when you try to recreate the emotions and the feelings that time has left behind. Time changes, people change. It's a fact of life. Memories are a beautiful thing because they preserve YOU. You can look back and relive experiences and feelings without going through the trouble of effecting your current experiences and feelings.

Emotions are a tricky thing. I can't quite figure those out. Why do they change too quickly? What memories are worth reliving and which ones are ready to be replaced?

Here's the thing. I love where I am, and I love where I've been. I love who I am, and I love who I was. So fortunately, I have the opportunity to be here now on the verge of something awesome and be able to fully appreciate where and who I was. Even if now and then are polar opposites. Icicles.