F is for Florida

I just want to start off by saying that my blog is not a general summary of whats going on in my life. So those of you who read and think i am depressed or really sad, you are way off. I did go through a rough and or stressful time a while back, but i tend to only blog on my bad days. So before i write another depressing blog, i want to let you know that. Things have actually been good. I got a new job. A huge answer to prayer. I am hanging out in Florida until this upcoming sunday. Which is good. Except for the fact that i wish i could be in both places because my mind is in New Jersey. Dont get me wrong, chilling by the gulf of mexico is amazing, but when i am constantly thinking about what i could be doing if i was in New Jersey it doesnt make it what it should be. I really wish i had nothing to worry about. But i do. And thats not gonna change. So i just have to let it go and not care. Good things will happen if thats what is best. But i cant care about what i cant control. Things are looking good and i just have to try living without the things that bring me stress. Ah, but Florida is nice. Now that that's off my chest, im gonna stop caring and enjoy myself this is supposed to be a good week. And it will be. Thanks for reading.

West Coastin' It

Its been roughly six years since ive been in sunny Southern California. Its hard to believe its been the case. But i am here, i flew in yesterday, and today was a pretty awesome day. I saw a couple family members, which is always neat. I love being around family, because i get to find out how truely terrible my father was growing up. Not really, but he did point out at least ten locations where he got into a fight. Of course he won all of them. Funny, because i knocked out my sister once for fun, and almost got knocked out myself by my dad. Seems like a double standard. Oh well.

Wow, today i realized how truely amazing my family was. 10 years ago last month, my grandmother passed away. Two years before that, my grandfather preceeded her. As i stood at there gravesite today, i tried to recall all the memories i had of them growing up. I dont remember much. I remember how goofy my grandpa was when we would hang out, and how good my grandma's cooking smelled. But nothing struck me as much as the fact that i finally realized how special they really were. They really must have gone through a lot. With a bunch of children already grown, they faced the challenge together of raising eight of their own kids. 6 boys, 2 girls. In an era of wars, segregation, and gang fights & territorial battles (most of which were caused by my father and 5 uncles), they managed to successfuly raise them. They didn't have great jobs, or a lot of money. They had a two bedroom house in the barrio, East L.A. Hearing all the stories today, and looking at all the pictures and stuff, It just hit me how difficult it must have been, but also from the stories and how everyone talked about them, i realize how strong they were and how much character they possesed. I dont know, maybe its finally being mature enough to understand everything, but i really wish i had the opportunity to spend more time with them. I think me and my grandfather would have gotten along really well. I just really appreciate them a whole lot more now. I know i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for their faith and perseverance. I wish i could thank them. I wish i could tell them how much i respect them and their sacrifices.

Its sad. Everyone is getting older now. I don't know how much longer all my aunts and uncles will be around for. I really hope to spend more time with them. I hope i can build some sort of relationship with them before its too late. They are such amazing people and i want to remember them for that, and not just remember their names and faces. Well its late, and i got a full day ahead of me tomorrow. I just wanted to right those thoughts down while they're still fresh.